


Dear Enemy: Letters From Jakku

by Lula_Landry



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Developing Friendships, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Family Feels, First Crush, First Kiss, First Order Politics (Star Wars), Fluff and Smut, Letters, Love at First Sight, Possessive Kylo Ren, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Redeemed Ben Solo, Resistance, Scavenger Rey (Star Wars), Secret Identity, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:41:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 44
Words: 15,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25856809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lula_Landry/pseuds/Lula_Landry
Summary: Rey the scavenger discovers a damaged holopad. Rather than trading it in for ration packs, she starts recording her thoughts (though nothing exciting ever happens at Niima Outpost). Unbeknownst to her, the holopad has a working transmitter and beams her words out to the galaxy, finding an unexpected audience. The stranger demands she stop flooding his frequency with rubbish and an offended Rey continues to bombard him with her daily life as punishment. Despite herself, an unorthodox relationship grows.OR The story of how the galaxy was saved by one deliberately annoying scavenger girl.OR The pen is mightier than the sword: a Reylo romance told in the form of letters.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 192
Kudos: 260





	1. Chapter 1

Dear Diary,

Today I ran out of room on the walls of my Imperial Walker.

If anyone was to read that sentence in isolation it could sound quite glamorous, rather than somewhat sad. Context is key. Let me introduce myself. 

My name is Rey and I live on the planet Jakku, a great big dustbowl of a place with clear scorching blue skies and hot gritty yellow sand. I’m a scavenger, which means I spend my days searching junkers for items that still hold some value. Things could be worse- for example, I could be a slave. Instead I work for Unkar Plutt, which is nearly just as bad. 

He’s a mean old Crolute who through ambition and violence has made sure he holds the monopoly on trading at Niima Outpost. Someone once told me Unkar’s species is aquatic in nature, which is why he never leaves his concessions stand. Who would walk away from cool blue oceans into this stew pot? No wonder the blobfish is always bad-tempered. 

So how did I, owner of exactly three changes of clothes and one custom built speeder held together by spit and gumption, come to possess a Walker? Well, that occurred purely by chance. 

It happens to me a lot, actually. Some of the other scavengers think I’m really good at what I do (they’ve said it to my face, so it’s not bragging), but the truth is I’m lucky. I sometimes get a feeling to go east instead of west or climb up instead of down. I’ve learnt to listen to those feelings- they’ve never steered me wrong.

This particular day, I was looking for a new home. One of Unkar’s foot soldiers made the pleasant (for him) discovery that I was a girl under all my rags (not that anyone’s terribly particular in this place). The occasional crude comment was one thing, but then he began interrupting my sleep in the middle of the night. Fortunately, the quarterstaff I cobbled together from bits of pipe, gears and metal links was enough to dissuade Cardo, but I knew I was playing with fire. It was only a matter of time before he got drunk enough to storm my tent with a blaster in hand.

Something told me to travel east along the sand dunes to the Goazon Badlands, an area nobody visits since there’s nothing there. Believe me, Unkar has enough scavengers scouring the surroundings of Niima Outpost for it to be well plotted. Imagine my shock when I discovered an All Terrain Armoured Transport resting on its side, three levels sticking out of the sand. It must have been unearthed during the last storm.

Initially, I thought the AT-AT was a lucky find for salvageable parts and didn’t even consider living in it. As I searched its interior, however, I came across a curious thing: a small green spinebarrel flower growing out of the few millimetres of sand that had poured into the Walker. It was a sign. If a flower could blossom in such a forsaken place, then surely I could survive too. Life always finds a way. 

That sounds fairly philosophical and wise but trust me, out here it’s work hard and live or lie down and die.

The AT-AT used to be called _Hellhound Two,_ the kind of moniker only an Imperial trooper or a First Order general would think appropriate. How do I know the specifications of my new home? I’m glad you asked. I managed to get the ship’s computer up and running. Something of a miracle since it’s been buried in sand all these decades. The circuit boards were caked with grit but after a good scrub and a certain amount of fiddling with the wires it flickered on. 

I’ve learnt all sorts of interesting things from the ship’s computer; alien languages to assist me when I’m amongst other scavengers, facts about far flung planets in the unlikely event I ever leave Jakku, and information about military ships and attack formations for the day when I’m in charge of my own battalion of rebels (or stormtroopers- stranger things have happened). I also have an electronic display from an old assault fighter that I’ve been using to run flight simulations in an effort to teach myself how to fly.

Yup, I’ll be ready when my parents return for me. Ready for what, I’m unsure, but definitely ready. Which brings me back to how I ran out of room on the wall of the Walker.

The lower deck where I sleep has my hammock (handmade), a table for me to tinker with salvaged parts and the ship’s computer. I park my speeder on the deck above. I’ve been using one wall of my ‘room’ as a calendar of sorts. Every day I scratch a line into the metal plates, signifying another sunset closer to my parents return. Today, I ran out of space. 

I could have started on another wall, I suppose, but then I found you, diary. Well, you’re actually a holopad. I had little hope you’d be usable when I saw the crack in the screen and the circuit board peeking out of its black casing, but you started working as soon as I turned you on. Rather than marking another wall, I’ve decided to make an entry in this pad every day.

It’s been strange describing my life as if I’m the heroine in a story. I suppose I am, in a way, since it’s _my_ story… even if it is a boring one. It feels good to write everything down, as if I’m releasing it into the galaxy. I’m breathing a little easier than usual. Who knew I had so much to say? After all, nothing ever happens on Jakku.

I better get to sleep. The sun has set and darkness only lasts about five hours.

Goodnight,

Rey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know…  
> \- The story of the spinebarrel flower is canon and can be found in _Rey’s Survival Guide,_ a book written as an accompaniment to _The Force Awakens_.  
> \- All details of the AT-AT/ Imperial Walker are canon.  
> \- Unkar’s thug Cardo is named in honour of one of the Knights of Ren.


	2. Chapter 2

Dear Diary,

Just another day in paradise.

I’ve finished dinner, which was dried veg-meat strips and a little cake of rehydrated polystarch powder. It’s the only thing I eat since it’s the only food Unkar trades in. The brute of a blobfish is probably feasting on grilled Bantha steaks inside his own home. He certainly doesn’t look like he’s starving.

I’m almost always hungry, diary. It’s this gnawing ache in my stomach that I just can’t…

Incoming transmission? What the _kriff?_

**[Entry incomplete]**


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Total-stranger-I-can’t-see,

You are _rude!_

How was I supposed to know everything I write is being transmitted to your private frequency? (By the way, is that actually a thing? Can a person have their own inter-galactic frequency no one else is allowed to use?)

No, I will not “desist”! And who says desist? Can’t you be a normal guy and just write stop?

As you may have already noted above, I’ve decided you’re a guy. Every word you wrote (of which there weren’t many) stank of male arrogance. I’m not saying you’re a man, I’m not speciest that way. You could be a Hutt for all I care, but definitely one that’s male.

How dare you call my journal entry rubbish? It was a perfectly reasonable way for someone to begin recording their innermost thoughts and feelings. I was setting the scene. Surely you were young once and recorded your opinions? Or are you so ancient you’ve lost all sense of empathy for others? (Now I can add old to my list of traits for you, sir.) 

If you would rather not read my writing, then don’t. I see no reason to do as you say, especially since you’re in a galaxy far, far away. You really shouldn’t have told me that; it means I have no reason to mind your words.

What was I discussing before being so rudely interrupted? Ah yes, food. Or the lack thereof. 

Unkar Plutt (the big boss around here, if you recall my previous entry) trades parts for ration packets of food. It’s always the same old thing and there are days I find myself salivating over the idea of something different to eat. 

Almost five years ago now, a Rodian trader with dusky blue skin travelling through Niima Outpost handed me the leftovers of his lunch. I must have been looking pretty pathetic for him to do so, but I didn’t care at the time. Mashra told me it was baked cushnip with fral. There are nights when I lie awake dreaming of what it would be like to devour an entire platter of the stuff. 

Does it disgust you to know I finished some else’s food? I hope it does. You’re probably rich and never had to wonder where your next meal is coming from. Ha! That’s a third trait. So far I’ve deduced with fair amount of certainty that you are old, male and rich. All these things account for your obvious sense of entitlement. 

The Jakku sun is a blazing orange ball in the horizon and I need my sleep. I have to stay sharp while scavenging. Silly mistakes costs lives.

I hope you’ve enjoyed my latest entry.

With deepest _in_ sincerity,

Rey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know…  
> \- Rey and her friends are given baked cushnip and fral by Maz Kanata at her lakeside castle in _The Force Awakens_.


	4. Chapter 4

Dear Sentient-being-from-the-galactic nowhere,

I’m disappointed in you. “Desist now” is not a letter. It’s barely a sentence. If you’re going to make me stop, you really should try harder.

I’m trying to imagine you now. Are you sitting in a tower made of crystal shaking your gnarled fist at the stars or are you in an air bubble under a fathomless blue ocean, furiously deleting this even as I type? 

I’ve never left Jakku. It’s all I know. Though now that I think about it, that’s not entirely true. My earliest memory… hm. Not sure I want to tell you this. Oh, well… my earliest memory is when I was around five sun cycles. Unkar was holding on to my arm to prevent me from running away as I watched a starship disappear into the atmosphere. I was upset, tears streaming down my face. You see, I’m fairly certain my parents were on that vessel.

It probably means I was born off planet. I often wonder where I could have originated from. I’m Terran or human or whatever term you prefer to use, but that doesn’t mean much these days. There’s a whole ship-load of different species everywhere you go. I’ve even met a Wookiee at the Niima trading outpost.

But back to you, mystery reader of my thoughts. So you’re old, male and rich. A picture of you is forming in my mind. You could be a small creature with a nasty temper, but I rather fancy you’re a big ‘un. You are, aren’t you? You’re probably built like a luggabeast (they’re huge, hairy, lumbering quadrupeds that wander the Jakku desert). 

One thing I can’t work out, sir, is whether or not you have appendages sprouting out of your head. Do you have lekkus like Twi’leks or montrals like the Togruta or horns like a Zabrak? I can imagine you with horns. Perhaps you simply have an abundance of hair but that seems unlikely. If you are human, I rather think you’re bald. It would explain a lot.

Looking forward to your speedy response!

Sincerely yours,

Rey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know…  
> \- Twi’leks were often sold as slaves. Jabba the Hutt had Twi’lek slave girls in _Return of the Jedi_.  
> \- Darth Maul is of the Zabrak species.  
> \- Ahsoka Tano (Anakin Skywalker’s padawan) was from the Togruta species.


	5. Chapter 5

Dear Enemy,

You didn’t answer my question. I ask once again: do you have HORNS? A one word response stating ‘tails’, ‘horns’ or ‘bald’ will do.

By the way, do you like my new pet name for you? I think it’s brilliant. Short, sweet and to the point. ‘Enemy’ captures our relationship with all its dimensions perfectly.

Today was rough. I think I’ve mentioned Mashra to you in the passing? She’s an Aqualish scavenger I used to work for before becoming independent. She has enormous black eyes, a hairy face and incisors that would make the fiercest carnivore jealous. The most important thing I can tell you about her is that she’s kind. Believe me, Enemy, in a place like Jakku where resources are close to non-existent, that’s a rare trait. Desperate people are not nice people.

Mashra had an accident while scaling a battlecruiser in the Starship Graveyard. That’s what we call an area of the desert littered with old Imperial and Rebel starships from the Battle of Jakku. If you know your history, it was the final large scale military engagement in the Galactic Civil War (or so my flyer’s electronic display lets me know). Seems to me the Rebels could have done a better job wiping out Imperial forces considering the First Order has risen from its ruins.

The Graveyard is one of the reasons Niima Outpost exists. There’s plenty to scavenge from if you have daring and athleticism. Today was not Mashra’s day. Her rope snapped and she fell some twenty feet onto a broken viewing window. The problem with most of these junkers is they are rarely right side up.

I’ve spent the last hour picking glass shards from a cut in Mashra’s back. She was more upset about the fact her scavenged parts were left behind on the ship than by the wounds she’d sustained.

Have you ever had a job that put your life in peril, Enemy? I can’t imagine it. You strike me as upper management though you’re probably retired now due to your advanced age. I’m surprised you haven’t written any more venomous critiques of my entries considering all your free time.

Sincerely yours,

Rey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know…  
> \- The Aqualish scavenger Mashra is a friend of Rey’s mentioned in _Rey’s Survival Guide_.


	6. Chapter 6

Dear Enemy,

All is chaos and confusion! Guess what? Word has reached Niima Outpost that Jakku was visited by First Order starships. And not just any old carrier filled with stormtroopers, but Kylo Ren’s personal command shuttle itself.

I’d give anything to have seen it. Does that make me a terrible person? 

One of the local traders used to be an engineer with the Corellian company Quadex, manufacturing parts for starfighters. Jonashe heard Ren’s ride is an Upsilon-class starship and able to handle itself in any space raid. It’s been involved in a fair number of manoeuvres, and while I suspect the pilot has as much to do with its immaculate reputation as the ship itself, that would be giving Kylo Ren more credit than I’d like to. 

Rumour is the First Order’s one man plague attacked a small village called Tuanul. The other scavengers are saying there’s no one left alive. Every male, female and youngling was wiped out by stormtroopers. The village is only a three hour trek from where I am. This confirmation that the war has spread to Jakku is upsetting. I want no part of it- only to be left in peace until my parents return. 

What kind of being would order the deaths of an entire village? Kylo Ren must truly be a monster. Even worse than you, Enemy, unless you’ve organised an assassin to eliminate me for good. (Aren’t I funny? That sparkling wit is what ingratiates me with my fellow scavengers.) 

The First Order ships are long gone but we’re seeing their residual effect in the reduced number of traders coming through Niima Outpost. No one wants to stumble across a brutal military regime if they can help it. Fortunately (and I say this so rarely), Unkar has a far reach and has started to spread the word that Jakku is First Order free once more.

I’ve just re-read this entry. How would you like a new title, Enemy? ‘One man plague’ has a certain ring to it. 

You’ve grown very quiet. I almost miss you.

Sincerely yours,

Rey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know…  
> \- Jonashe Solo was Corellian royalty and Han Solo is a direct descendant of his. This is mentioned is the book _Solo: A Star Wars Story: Tales from Vandor_. It claims the recruiter who gave Han the last name Solo just happened to pick his actual family name.


	7. Chapter 7

Dear Enemy,

How dare you? I might be a garbage picker (your words, not mine) but I’m still allowed to have opinions! 

I clearly hit a nerve with my last correspondence. I didn’t mean to offend by describing First Order actions. Are you a Resistance sympathiser? I’ll be honest- that surprises me. Granted, your five word correspondence doesn’t actually indicate much of anything except your irritation with me. “Please shut up, garbage picker” isn’t quite the rhapsodic poem I’d hoped to receive, though you did say “please”. 

Is it because I likened you to Kylo Ren? That was quite harsh. I wouldn’t wish the comparison on anyone, not even you. Still, Kylo Ren must have been a baby once. Can you imagine him with big eyes and pink lips and a mop of tousled hair? What do you think turns an innocent child into a mass murderer? 

Perhaps it’s genetic. Maybe Ren comes from a long line of psychopathic killers and is continuing in his father’s and grandfather’s footsteps. Or perhaps it’s the opposite. What if all his ancestors were noble heroes and he wants to distinguish himself by being different? Whatever the case, I simply cannot understand the impulse to kill indiscriminately.

Now killing with a purpose, that’s something else entirely. I confess to you, Enemy, more than once I’ve wondered if the crack of my quarterstaff across the back of an assailant’s head did more than just knock them out. But it’s not like I have options. It’s kill or be killed out here. Jakku is not a nice place.

Still, it’s my home. I have carved out a little niche that’s not uncomfortable, though sometimes I could do with company. And on that depressing note, I head to bed.

Sincerely yours,

Rey

P/S Please do not take my closing statements as a suggestion to come visit. I suspect your dignified presence would not cheer me up whatsoever.


	8. Chapter 8

Dear Enemy,

It’s a relief to know you’re not a secret Resistance operative. The very thought was ruining your deliciously dark image. You fit better in my head as the supporter of a tyrannical military regime. 

I do find it suspicious that you found the need to clarify your political position. Does this mean you are, in fact, an officer in the First Order? Oh, the horror! I’m disappointed in you, Enemy. I thought you grumpy, not evil.

Kidding! You’re too old to be running around with a blaster in hand shooting members of the Resistance. Your bald head would get wet and then you’d come down with the worst kind of cold, where every time you sneeze luminous green phlegm oozes out your nostrils. (As you can tell, I have decided you’re bald. Should you have wished to change my mind, you would have done so several entries ago.) 

Today was a brilliant, sunshiney day in Jakku. There really isn’t any other kind. I like the heat in small measures- it’s the cold I don’t know how to manage. 

I was around eight sun cycles when I accidentally locked myself inside a refrigerated caravan. The driver was a Mirialan female I was curious about because one of the other kids told me many of her kind become Jedi. Imagine that. I thought those space wizards were myth. 

You’re a doddering old male who’s been around forever, Enemy. Have you ever met a Jedi knight?

Fortunately, the trader found me before I froze to death. She was unruffled by the mishap though Unkar was furious with me as usual. He chained me by my ankle to a post as if I was a naughty kowakian monkey-lizard. I was grateful to thaw out in the hot sun. That was the day I decided I would never migrate to an ice planet like Hoth, not even if my parents hailed from there. Somehow, I would convince them to move. 

This has been a very inconsistent entry.

Sincerely yours,

Rey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know…  
> \- Mirialan’s are a species known to be especially force sensitive, the most famous one being Jedi Master Luminara Unduli. She is killed in _Revenge of the Sith_ but more of her story can be seen in _The Clone Wars_ animated series.


	9. Chapter 9

Dear Enemy,

I think I’ve made a friend! Now, I don’t want you to worry about your own position in my heart- I have more than enough room for the both of you.

Today started like any other day. I had just secured my speeder and was walking into the Starship Graveyard when I realised the grains of sand at my feet were beginning to bounce in the air. That may not mean anything to an off-worlder like you, but everyone on Jakku understands it’s the sign of an impending storm. 

I was about to turn around and high tail it back home when I spotted a figure not much bigger than me scanning wrecks half buried in the sand. This person was gawking up at rusted starships like a tourist with nothing better to do. I was tempted to leave them to it, but I knew my conscience would eat away at my sleep tonight.

“Oy! You crazy?” I hollered. 

Not the most auspicious beginning to a conversation, but I’m a bit like that; more honest than polite. I don’t know if you can tell, Enemy, but I wasn’t brought up in a royal palace on Coruscant and taught the manners of an intergalactic ambassador. Fortunately, my cry startled the gawker enough for them to turn around.

I was astonished to realise she was a girl my age, no more than eighteen sun cycles, and also human. She had dark eyes and thick, wavy brown hair and was dressed in far too few clothes for Jakku. It’s a rookie mistake. People think they should wear less so they remain cooler, when in fact they need to cover up to protect their skin from the sun’s rays.

“Excuse me?” she called back with more manners than I possessed.

“There’s a sandstorm coming!” I continued hollering as if she were deaf. “You need to get on your transport and ride outta here.”

The girl blinked rather stupidly (I’ve grown so used to my own company I realise I have little patience for other beings.) “I- I don’t have a transport,” she said to my incredulity. “It took me an hour to walk here. Can’t we just shelter in a junker?”

“None of these starships offer enough protection. You’d be at risk of being scoured raw by a stray wind.” I gnashed my teeth in frustration. “Come with me.”

I stomped my way back to the speeder, uncaring whether the girl followed me or not. She could take me up on my offer or remain behind and die for all I cared. Fortunately for her, she followed me.

That’s how I met Rose Tico. She stayed in the Walker with me until the sandstorm died down almost three hours later. By then, we were fast friends. 

Rose is nothing like me but I think that’s why we clicked. She’s shy and sweet and hesitant while I’m brash and rough and loud (when the occasion calls for it). She was fascinated to learn I was alone on Jakku. Rose has moved to Niima Oupost with her sister Paige. 

Tomorrow, Rose will come to the AT-AT and we’ll travel together to the Graveyard to look for parts. It’s been a while since I’ve had a partner while working. I hope she doesn’t slow me down. I guess I can leave her on the ground while I scale the wrecks with my ropes.

My bed calls to me. Don’t say I never have exciting updates for you, Enemy.

Sincerely yours,

Rey


	10. Chapter 10

Dear Enemy,

Based on your deafening silence, I believe you have grown to enjoy my transmissions!

My friendship with Rose progresses. It’s interesting learning about other people’s lives when your own is so limited. 

Rose will make a good scavenger; she’s quick and agile. And it’s been profitable working together. I used to attach myself to others all the time when I was a small girl until I realised I was being used for my intuition. I couldn’t trust anyone but Mashra not to undercut my portion of the profits. It’s hard when everyone's only looking out for themselves. Rose is different. She’s just as kind as Mashra but not nearly as cynical.

Rose and Paige live amongst a cluster of tents right outside Niima Outpost, which is where I used to have my dwelling before Unkar’s bully boy took a shine to me. Paige is beautiful, with long hair like polished wood and sparkling dark eyes. She’s found work as a server at Unkar’s cantina.

Cantina, my quarterstaff! It’s really just a front for the pleasures of the flesh. Unkar has a dozen or so slaves housed in the back. They’re mostly Twi’lek females, but there’s also a Clawdite shapeshifter in case his patrons are after something more exotic. It upsets me to see the more vulnerable ones in tears sometimes, but most of the females are as tough as battle hardened warriors. I could have been one of them if I hadn’t displayed such an aptitude for scavenging. 

_Ugh-_ that wasn’t where I intended to take this entry. Writing to you can be quite hypnotic. My brain just spills out all these thoughts and my fingers type as if I have no control over them. You should be honoured, dear Enemy, you know more about me than anyone else in my life.

Anyway, back to the Tico sisters. I hope Paige stays safe. She tells us that Unkar doesn’t pay much but some of the traders are big tippers which makes up the difference. It’s nice having two friends with whom I can occasionally share a meal. I hope they don’t pack up and leave too soon.

No one hangs around Niima forever. I’m the only strange ‘un still waiting on my family to show.

Good night, Enemy. 

Rey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know…  
> \- Zam Wesell was a Clawdite female bounty hunter sent to kill Padme Amidala in _Attack of the Clones_.


	11. Chapter 11

Dear Enemy,

Promise you’ll keep my secret. I probably shouldn’t write this down, but I’m breathless to tell someone and you don’t count. After all, you’re galaxies away on some cushy Core World planet like Coruscant or Hosnia Prime.

Rose and Paige are Resistance fighters! Isn’t that amazing?

Rose was supposed to meet me at the Walker so I could drive us to a potential new junker- every sandstorm reveals more of Jakku’s history- but she never showed. I admit I was more than a little annoyed as I stomped my way to the tent dwellings to check on her. What I found was distressing.

Paige was curled up in a corner of their tent, her pretty face sweaty, her eyes panicked. Rose hovered close by, talking to her in an unnaturally calm voice, saying things like, “It’s over, Paige. You’re not there anymore. You’re safe. Everything’s fine.”

I snapped out of my initial surprise and poured a cup of water from a nearby jug. Rose gave me a grateful look and pushed it into Paige’s hands. She took small sips and that seemed to centre her. After settling Paige in bed, Rose and I went for a walk.

Rose explained that Paige was experiencing a flashback to a battle she’d been in when she was a gunner with the Resistance. Paige was badly injured and lost many of her compatriots in the fight, leaving her with deep psychological wounds. Rose called her condition post-traumatic stress. 

I’ve never seen anything quite like it, Enemy. It was as if Paige was reliving her past right before her very eyes, oblivious to Rose’s presence. I never considered the long term effects of being involved in a war effort, that it could hurt someone both mentally and physically. 

Rose played her part in the background. She was a mechanic on a Resistance base that’s now defunct. She admitted Paige and her moved to Jakku because it’s so sparsely populated with no natural resources that there’s no reason for the First Order to come here. Makes me wonder what Kylo Ren was after in that little village not far away. 

I’m impressed my two new friends are part of the Resistance. At least, they used to be. Now Rose watches Paige as if she’s made from blown glass and might shatter at any moment.

This day did not go at all how I planned.

Sincerely yours,

Rey


	12. Chapter 12

Dear Enemy,

I know I’ve just written to you, but I can’t sleep.

My heart feels heavy thinking about poor sick Paige, so beautiful and yet so broken, and Rose, clearly worried about her sister and yet helpless to do anything about it. Is this what having loved ones is like- constant fear for someone else? 

Sometimes I’m nervous my parents will return for me but I won’t want them. That I’ll react in anger over the fact they abandoned me as a child or I won’t fit into a normal family dynamic because I’ve been a hermit for so long. 

I’m alone all the time, Enemy, but when I consider I could fail at relationships, I wonder if loneliness is the better option. 

Are you lonely? I somehow think you are. You haven’t written anything in ages, but I suspect you’re reading this even now. I want you to know I understand your isolation. It’s a familiar feeling for me too.

Thank you for your time, Enemy.

Rey


	13. Chapter 13

Dear Enemy,

You are a horrible, nasty old thing and I don’t know why I waste my time writing to you. I have met Teedo scavengers with stronger moral centres- and all those grey-skinned reptiles do is wait around for parts to steal. They only care for themselves and their own kind.

That’s you, isn’t it? Except I don’t even think you have your ‘own kind’. I think you’re a miserable nerf herder who only looks out for himself.

This will be my last correspondence. We are done.

Rey


	14. Chapter 14

Dear Enemy,

I am a complete moof milker! I am SO sorry for my previous entry. That was completely unprovoked and undeserved. I almost hope you’re not still reading my correspondence. 

To be fair, I’m not well. I know a real apology doesn’t contain excuses, but I’m sure you’d feel sorry for me if you could see me- all pale and sweaty and pathetic.

I cut my leg on something (which is not uncommon) but then it became infected. My foot turned grey and swollen, and the puss that leaked out of the wound was an alarming fluorescent yellow. I’ve never been more attractive.

Fortunately, Rose came looking for me. Having friends is a good thing, Enemy. She found me delirious with fever and promptly made me hydrate. She then drained my wound and bound my cut. It took another day for the fever to break but I think Rose has saved both my leg and my life.

She was quite embarrassed when I thanked her. Apparently, she used to help out in the medical tents in whatever Rebel camp she belonged to and my injury was nothing in comparison to some others she’s seen.

Anyway, here I lie in recovery. Rose and Paige sometimes bring me food, but I also have a small stash of ration packs in my locker. It hurts to see my resources dwindle, but I did save up for emergencies like this.

You’re not getting rid of me so easily, Enemy! 

Yours,

Rey


	15. Chapter 15

Dear Enemy,

Today I was lying on my hammock when something entered my room. I grabbed my staff but it wasn’t necessary. It turned out to be a droid with a gift. From _you_.

I can’t believe you found my home, though in going through my previous entries I did give you plenty of clues as to my location. You must be really rich, my Enemy. I’ve never seen anything like your mechanised servant. It was a glossy black sphere floating in the air, its arms bright silver as it unpacked a box from a hollow chamber in its side. I can only imagine the space pod in which it was dispatched. 

The blue salve that you sent was nothing short of miraculous. It was a cool, tingly breeze on my skin (an amazing feeling for a place like Jakku). My wound has finally closed over and is no longer seeping. I apologise for the disgusting detail- I’m much too open with you. Today, I was even able to walk without a limp.

Thank you, Enemy. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 

If you want to know what a big baby I am, I’ll admit I lay down and cried when I saw your gift. I don’t think anyone has ever given me anything that nice before… or at all. I confess I tried to keep the droid for myself, but it floated away before I could see past my tears.

You’re not the crusty old grumps I thought you were. I don’t even believe you’re as bad as _you_ think you are. Underneath your grizzled exterior you have a tender heart.

I’m going to stop now because my eyes are filling up again.

Your Rey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know…  
> \- A spherical black floating droid was used by Darth Vader to interrogate Leia Organa in _A New Hope_. A similar droid is seen removing Kylo Ren’s stitches in _The Last Jedi._


	16. Chapter 16

Dear Enemy, 

The strangest thing happened today. I haven’t told anyone else but I’m going to tell you because otherwise I think I might burst.

I moved something with my _mind_.

Now you can send me one of your pithy take-downs declaring me insane. You might be wondering whether my infection has flared up again and I’m delirious with fever, but that’s not it. Your medicine worked so well there isn’t even a scar on my leg.

(By the way, you will not believe the song and dance routine I had to go through trying to explain to Rose where the medication came from. I finally convinced her I’d done a favour for some off world trader who happened to have exactly what I needed to heal my cut. I didn’t want to tell her about you, Enemy. I hope that’s okay. I have so little in my life that’s only mine and you’re like an unexpected bonus I hug close to my chest.)

Where was I? Ah yes, moving things with my mind. Unfortunately, Rose was filling in for Paige at Unkar’s cantina (she’d had another episode) so there was no one else to witness it. This is what happened.

I was inside the wreck of a battlecruiser, almost fifty feet in the air. Unlike Mashra and the others, I don’t use climbing ropes. Yes, it’s risky but I seem to have a sixth sense about these thing, always knowing where to place my hands and feet. (I keep talking about my predictive ability, don’t I? Maybe it’s all part of the same thing.) 

I reached for a metal coupling, too late recognising the disquiet in my mind as a sign to swing elsewhere. The coupling came off in my hand and I began to slide down the side of the starship at an alarming rate. Instinctively, I stretched out my hand and my staff, which had been tucked into a shady nook on the ground, came flying up into my waiting grasp. I slammed it into the ship’s metal plating, bringing myself to a juddering halt. 

That’s my story, Enemy. I nearly died but managed to save myself using some kind of psychic mental ability. 

I have re-read the above sentence five times because it sounds ridiculous. I hope I’m not going crazy. Please don’t tell anyone about this. I’m suddenly glad Rose wasn’t there.

Your Rey


	17. Chapter 17

Dear Enemy, 

What do you mean, am I sure? Am I sure my quarterstaff flew up into my hand while I fell off the side of a junker? Yes, I’m sure!

By the way, this is your first message to me in ages and all you can do is question my sanity? To be fair, I did expect you to think I was delusional.

I got into a fight with Unkar today. Sometimes he pushes too far and I snap. He tried to offer me a quarter portion of rations for parts that just two weeks ago he traded for one and a half portions. This is what happens when there’s a tyrannical despot in charge. It’s why the First Order will never work, not in the long run. People like their freedom way too much to remain subservient under an autocratic regime.

There’s a storm coming. The sun has set in a violet sky instead of an orange one. Never a good sign.

Your Rey


	18. Chapter 18

Dear Enemy,

We’re not talking about this anymore. You are the most stubborn and cantankerous old thing I’ve ever met!

What’s going on? Are you worried I’m losing it and might fall into a psychotic rage? It’s not like I can flatten Niima Outpost the way Kylo Ren did to that village. My quarterstaff and I wouldn’t last sixty seconds against all of Unkar’s soldier boys. Sure I can handle myself against one or two assailants, but I’m not planning on taking on the entire outpost. You need not concern yourself with my break in reality.

Because that’s what it must have been. The sun addled my brain, making me see things that didn’t happen. I haven’t moved anything else since. Not that I’ve tried. 

It scares me, Enemy, the possibility there might be something inside me that’s different. I don’t want the few friends I have to walk away from me because I’m a freak.

Please stop asking questions about something I don’t even understand myself.

Your Rey


	19. Chapter 19

Dear Enemy, 

I never thought I’d be grateful for deathly silence on your part. Thank you for shutting up. You’re a crabby old codger but still nice to have around. It’s heart-warming to realise there’s someone out there concerned about my wellbeing, even if it’s in a bossy kind of way. 

Today was a housekeeping day. I swept and dusted, though it’s impossible to rid the Walker of every grain of sand. I have a little shelf where I keep the ancestor of the spinebarrel flower that I found all those years ago and a bunch of others I’ve discovered over time. It’s a corner that’s pretty and green and a stark contrast to the rusted metal and hot winds I contend with all the time. 

I would love to leave Jakku, get on a starship and fly away. I want to visit a planet with oceans, great blue and green expanses of water. Can you imagine? What am I saying? Of course, you can. You probably have a dwelling right by a serene lake full of fish. I’ve never even seen fish- only heard stories about them.

There are moments when I get like this. I feel itchy all over and I know the only thing that will relieve it is if I run from Jakku. There are seconds, hollow, soul-crushing moments, when I realise my parents are never coming back. It’s been thirteen sun cycles, after all.

I find myself contemplating all the reasons why my mother and father aren’t here. Like maybe they divorced and moved onto new families. Or perhaps they have a business empire that takes up all their time. Or they're Resistance generals and don't want to risk my life. Or maybe… maybe they’re dead, their bodies turning to dust in a pauper’s grave. Rose has no idea how lucky she is to have Paige.

I’m going to bed now. Sorry for being such a downer. 

Rey


	20. Chapter 20

Dear Enemy,

This entry is more for you than me. Please don’t worry. I’m fine, really, despite my dispiriting previous transmission.

I realise my friendship with Rose and Paige has opened my eyes to how family behaves; with love and patience and compassion. More than that, a real family is there for you. It’s not some hypothetical idea of a person who might appear down the track- they’re by your side right now. 

I’m never going to see my parents again, am I? I have to let them go. 

I’m glad you’re around, Enemy. You’ve been more supportive these few short weeks than my supposed family has been my whole life.

Your Rey


	21. Chapter 21

Dear Enemy,

Today was extraordinary for so many reasons. To begin with, I met a boy. He’s a man, really. Older than me but not old, y’know? I’m telling this all wrong.

He’s as I imagine you must have been when you were young, before age and experience turned you bitter. He’s arrogant. Self-assured. Definitely rich. Or maybe he used to be rich, because why else travel to Jakku?

I went into Niima Outpost to trade my latest salvage when I spotted him. He was hard to miss, really, since he’s huge. Tall and broad and dressed all in black- ribbed shirt, britches and heavy boots, his face swathed with a cloth so only his eyes showed. I saw him and it was like recognising someone from my past. I felt as if I should know him, except I obviously didn’t. I’d remember a guy like that.

Rose was there as well and caught me staring. She gave me a wink before whispering, “He arrived two days ago and asked Unkar to find him parts that’s taking a while to source. Paige said he’s visited the cantina but all he drinks is nerf milk. Doesn’t touch the hard stuff and hasn’t visited the girls.”

I shrugged, not knowing what to do with the information. “So he’s just hanging around?”

Rose nodded. “He’s been asking a lot of questions about the running of Niima Outpost and the people who work here. Unkar’s getting nervous he might want to stage a takeover.”

I frowned. Surely not. A man who looked like that had better things to do than fight for control of a spaceport on Jakku.

I wandered up to Unkar’s concession stand and did my trading, quibbling over the amount of ration packs earned. The blobfish has become tightfisted in recent weeks. Mashra suspects with the war heating up and certain trade routes drying out, Unkar’s supplies have been affected. Stupid First Order. Don’t they realise how inconvenient war is to the common people?

Putting away my ration packs, I turned around and ran face first into a wall of muscle. I bounced off him like a child’s ball and fell sprawling on the ground. You should have heard the guffaws of those nearby, led by Unkar naturally. The man mountain with whom I had collided reached down and grasped my hands, pulling me to my feet as easily as if I were a youngling. 

A polite, well-mannered woman may have apologised to the stranger. I am neither of those things. “Watch it,” I snapped, but in my defence my cheeks were on fire. Me! I never blush.

“I thought I was,” he replied, his tone mild. 

He had a voice like the inside of a cave, deep and smooth. I only grew redder. He still held my hands and I tugged at them, wanting him to release me. He did but more slowly than I expected.

“What?” I asked rather rudely as warm amber eyes watched close. I’d never been looked at with that much interest… well, ever.

“I heard you’re the scavenger to see if I want a tour of the Graveyard.”

I stared at the man in black in utter confusion. No one here would have missed the opportunity of scalping a few credits off a curious stranger by suggesting me as a guide instead. “Who told you that?”

“An Aqualish female,” he replied. 

That eased my caution somewhat. Mashra must be paying me back for helping her when she was injured- she’s good that way.

“Why would you want to check out the Graveyard?” I asked, giving him a once over. His clothes were plain but good quality, his boots worn but whole. He was no beggar.

“I have family who fought in the Battle of Jakku,” he said to my astonishment.

“Really? On what side?” I realised how rude the question was as soon as it left my mouth and cringed.

A black gloved hand unravelled the thin cloth he’d been using to keep the sand off his face, revealing a plush mouth twitching into a smile. “They were part of the Rebellion.”

I heard his words but was too busy staring at the man. That mobile mouth looked all wrong on his aristocratic face. He was handsome in an unusual way, with a long face and dominant nose, a strong jaw that tapered and wide cheekbones. His skin was pale, the most obvious marker he was an off-worlder, and he had thick, glossy black hair that was long enough to fall into his eyes. 

He pushed back that messy hair and raised his eyebrows at me. “Well? Can you do it or shall I pay someone else for the dubious honour of escorting me?” 

I liked the cool, deprecating tone of his question and nodded once. “Alright.”

He smiled again, so wide this time that it produced little dents in his cheeks. “My name is Ben.”

To my horror, I could feel myself start blushing all over again. “I- I’m Rey,” I stammered like an idiot since he must have already known.

Ben turned and began walking towards Unkar’s cantina. “Well, come on then, Rey. Let’s work out our agreement.”

I ended up spending the rest of the day with the strange trader. He fed me from the cantina menu, a hot meal that I had to stop myself from inhaling like a savage, and then he bought me another plate. I should have protested, I suppose, but it’s been so long since I had fresh meat and why let good food go to waste?

Ben asked a whole host of questions about Jakku and Niima, about Unkar and life as a scavenger... about me. I was happy to talk around mouthfuls of grilled meat and cups of rich milk. My tastebuds didn’t know what to do with all this abundance. Now that I think about it, I didn’t find out that much about the man himself. He was surprisingly reticent considering all the time we were together.

Still, there were things I noticed about him. He took off his gloves and revealed the hands of a warrior not a merchant, callused and hard instead of smooth and soft. He used words I didn’t always understand, so he’s educated. He spoke of planets by the dozen, so he’s well-travelled. And there’s a lack of concern about the way he spent his credits which let me know my impression of wealth was accurate. I see no reason for Ben to be on Jakku, much less at Niima Outpost, but I have certainly benefited from his presence.

Tomorrow I will pick him up on my speeder and we’ll head to the Graveyard. I’m looking forward to it, which surprises me. I hate meeting new people since it mostly leads to disappointment. 

This was a long entry, Enemy!

Your Rey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know…  
> \- Luke, Leia and Han didn’t participate in the Battle of Jakku, although Admiral Ackbar was involved in the space assault. At the time, Leia was already pregnant with Ben.


	22. Chapter 22

Dear Enemy,

Today I was a tour guide. Hanging out with the man in black was strangely invigorating- different to spending my day scavenging with Rose. 

To begin with, Ben was interested in my speeder. I was more embarrassed by it than anything else since I’d sneaked a peek at the sleek craft he’d arrived in, a gunship turned into a private flyer. While the speeder is my most prized possession, I wasn’t sure he’d understand its value, what with the mismatched parts and chipped paint. And yet he seemed genuinely interested, complimenting me on how I’d thrown it all together.

Ben climbed onto the speeder in preparation for our ride to the Graveyard and that was when I realised I should have suggested we walk instead. Having him pressed against me was nothing like Rose’s slight presence. His hands rested on my hips, warm and heavy, and his chest threatened to swallow me up. I’ve never felt so small in all my life, not even that time I had to run from a Happabore stampede. By the time we arrived at our destination I was sweating from more than just the heat. I’m not sure what that was about- I’m not usually so nervous.

Ben asked plenty of questions about the history of the Graveyard and I’m glad I’d read up on it. Apparently his ancestors were also at the Battle of Endor, the one that ended the Empire’s stronghold on the galaxy. It must be nice knowing where your family comes from, though perhaps that puts pressure on a person. I told Ben I didn’t know my lineage and he called me lucky, which I thought strange.

Ben had a satchel with him and we found a shady spot under a towering junker to have lunch. I usually try to go without food until my evening meal, so this was a treat. He’d bought a hunk of fresh baked bread and there was a slab of Bantha butter to go with it. Simple but delicious. I suspect I ate more than him, his amused expression once I was picking crumbs off my scarf telling me as much. 

On our ride back to the outpost, he asked if we could check out the sand caves. I was surprised he’d noticed them at all. To the untrained eye most of Jakku seems like a never-ending desert, without shape or form, but there are pockets of character if you know where to look.

That was when things got exciting. As we approached the caves, I heard the sharp caw of a ripper-raptor. They look like birds, but really they’re reptiles with ten-foot leather wings, their beaks and talons as cruel as any knife’s edge. Traditionally they’re carrion eaters, but hunger makes the most docile creature savage.

I grabbed my quarterstaff and Ben reached into his cloak. I saw him grip a strange looking object- a rough metal shaft with unprotected wires and short lateral vents- but just as quickly his hand found the barrel of a chunky looking blaster. His first shot connected with a ripper-raptor wing and the creature screeched in fury.

The winged reptile dove for us, talons extended. I was so entranced by Ben that I failed to raise my staff in time. I cried out as sharp claws dug bloody furrows in my arm. He raised his blaster and took another couple of shots at the ripper-raptor. This time it took the hint and flew off, cawing angrily. 

Ben tucked away his blaster and undid the torn cloth wrapper on my arm, frowning when he saw blood. I assured him it was nothing, just a shallow wound, but he insisted on wasting precious water cleaning it. He bound my hand with a black cloth from around his throat, and while it was cleaner than anything I owned, it felt strange to be tended to like that.

When we arrived back at Niima Outpost, Ben decided since I was wounded for his curiosity he would buy me dinner. Paige was our server and she gave me a coy smile when she took our order. I found myself blushing all over again but couldn’t tell her she had it wrong. This man wasn’t interested in me- only in what I could show him. 

I introduced Ben to Paige, just to prove I was right, but regretted my actions instantly. Paige is so pretty with her shiny dark hair and sparkling eyes, while I’m grungy and covered in dust all the time. I’m surprised at how insecure she made me feel. Normally I don’t care what anyone looks like.

The sun has set and I’m back in the Walker writing to you, my Enemy. There’s comfort in that. With all the new experiences I’m having, it’s nice to know my end of day routine hasn’t changed. You’ve grown as comfortable as an old blanket.

One odd thing that did happen was I saw Ben tuck my bloodied arm wrap into his satchel. Maybe he did it without thinking. It felt childish of me to ask for it back considering I now have his much nicer scarf around my arm. It smells like him. Zesty.

Good night, Enemy.

Your Rey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know…  
> \- Happabores are a species of massive grey omnivores with thick, armoured skin. They appear in _The Force Awakens: Visual Dictionary_.  
> \- Ripper-raptors are mentioned in _Rey’s Survival Guide._


	23. Chapter 23

Dear Enemy,

It’s a good thing Ben has me around- he was willing to pay Unkar ten times the value for the parts he wanted. The good news is I haven’t needed to scavenge because Ben gave me a cut of his savings. I felt a _little_ bad taking the credits considering he’s been feeding me my weight in hot meals, but I did earn it. I’ve certainly made myself unpopular with Unkar after haggling on Ben’s behalf.

Ben was supposed to leave today but we ended up talking late into the night, so he’s delayed his departure until tomorrow. He’s fascinating; well-travelled and he knows so much about everything. I feel like he’s interested in me too, though I can’t imagine why. 

I’m no fool (especially compared to the brain dead thugs Unkar hires) but my interactions with Ben has made me realise how much I’m missing. There’s an entire galaxy where I could ply my trade. I’m a pretty good mechanic. If I left Jakku, maybe I could find a job doing that.

I don’t know, Enemy. These new friends I’m making are putting dangerous ideas in my head. 

Your Rey

P/S If I send you my image, could you let me know if you think I’m pretty?


	24. Chapter 24

Dear Enemy,

It’s the middle of the night but I can’t sleep.

Please ignore the postscript on my last transmission. I’ve just realised if you are indeed of another species to my own, you might find me hideous because I lack webbing between my toes or antennae sprouting from my head. Beauty is so subjective.

Except it’s not. I see the way male traders hang around Unkar’s flesh tent. They look at those females in ways no one has ever looked at me. True, I’ve never wanted that kind of attention. I wrap myself in rags and scarves and goggles as much for protection from the heat as for anonymity. I learnt long ago there’s no joy in standing out from the crowd. 

Except now I want to. I really, really want to.

I’m going to tell you something I wasn’t about to confess, but it’s lying on my heart like a boulder and I need to dislodge it. Two hours ago, I returned to Ben’s tent. 

It was stupid and dangerous because navigating Jakku is hard enough when the sun is shining and you can see all its creatures and sandpits but it’s ten times worse at night. I realised Ben would be gone soon and I didn’t want to let him go without saying something. I had no words in mind, just a feeling that maybe, perhaps, somehow we were meant to be together. Even though our experiences are so different, meeting Ben was like finding the other half of me.

I’m sorry, nothing I’m saying makes sense. This isn’t like me at all. I’m not romantic. I live in a harsh world and I’ve always made the sensible choice to protect myself from everything and everyone. My foundational beliefs have shattered like a rock formation under assault by plasma charges.

So I walked up to Ben’s ship where he spends the night, my emotions swelling until I couldn’t breathe, and that’s when I saw them. He was sprawled on his roll out bed, gloves off and boots to one side and his distracting black hair looking like it needed a good brush… but he wasn’t alone. Paige was there too.

She’d clearly just finished her shift at the cantina and was dressed in the low-cut leather vest and skintight leggings all the servers wear. Paige was talking and laughing and _glowing_. I reacted the same way I did the first time I saw a bloodied carcass of a scavenger cut up by one of Unkar’s boys. I ran into the dark and coughed up my dinner, and then I went home.

I feel so ashamed even though I did nothing wrong. Clearly, I misread my connection to Ben. I’m useful to him the same way a hex-clamp is useful to a mechanic, as a convenient tool. I’m such a _lurdo_. This is why I don’t open up to others. Inevitably, I’m let down.

I’m glad I have you, Enemy. Your age and cynicism keeps me grounded.

Your Rey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know…  
> \- Rey uses Mon Calamari hex-clamps as scavenging tools. This is mentioned in _Rey’s Survival Guide_.  
> \- Lurdo is an Ewok insult roughly meaning ‘dummy’. It is spoken in the _Ewoks_ animated series.


	25. Chapter 25

Dear Enemy,

The sun has risen and it’s a brand new day! 

Ben is gone but not without saying goodbye. He left a note for me with Mashra. It reads:

_Dear Rey,  
Thank you for showing me around Jakku. I had more fun these last few days than I have in years, and it’s because of you. We’re two sides of the same coin. That sounds odd but I hope you feel it too.  
Last night I spoke with Paige because I know people in the Resistance. I would have preferred your presence but we can’t spend every spare moment together, can we?  
Take care, sweet Rey. Stay safe until we meet again.  
Your Ben._

I’ve re-read the note enough times that it’s starting to look like an old piece of parchment. I feel happy again, my Enemy. I know it’s a silly response to a few words but I can’t help it. My parents left and never came back but maybe Ben will. A girl can dream.

Thank you for listening to the foolish rantings of an emotional female. I didn’t think I was much of either- emotional or female- but this year has proven me wrong. 

Your Rey

P/S Is it odd that Ben signed his note the same way I do when I send you letters?

P/P/S Rose has just dropped by to say she received a radio signal announcing a Resistance base was bombed. She was quite relieved to discover it was mostly deserted, but still worried the First Order may have spies amongst the rebels.


	26. Chapter 26

Dear Enemy,

A Yuzzum trader came by this week with the most amazing inventory. Cloth. Bolts of arachsilk and nylonite in a multitude of colours, stacks of buttery soft leathers and piles of silken furs. 

It’s the kind of high-end luxury merchandise no one on Jakku would ever buy, but fortunately for the trader Unkar was in a good mood. He purchased his female workers a variety of fabrics and today I saw Paige in her new server outfit. She was a little sheepish about wearing the shimmering blue jumpsuit styled uniform, but even Rose had to admit it was stunning.

I would love to have a dress one day. Something flowing and pretty and completely illogical to own in Jakku’s blazing heat. And it doesn’t even have to be a colour (though I saw some amazing greens amongst the trader’s collection of silks). I choose white. All my clothes are a kind of muddy beige from dust and dirt and age so it would be amazing to have a pristine white dress. Maybe then Ben will invite me to stay the night in his ship instead of seeking out Paige. (I really should let that one go, but it still stings.)

The war continues to rage in the galaxy. Rose has been on her radio again and was pleased to let me know the Resistance have destroyed a First Order weapon called the Starkiller. That’s an ominous name. She’s curious as to how the Resistance managed to infiltrate such an important site and now suspects they too have spies in the First Order. Rose is seeing spies everywhere. 

I hope you’re keeping well, Enemy. No need for you to involve yourself in military action when you’re so advanced in age.

Your Rey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know…  
> \- The Yuzzum are a furry alien species that populate the forest moon of Endor.  
> \- ArachSilk is made on Corellia and is a fine mesh used in body armour. It is first mentioned in the _Star Wars: Edge of the Empire_ roleplaying game.  
> \- Nylonite was a packaging material used to make nets. It is mentioned in the _Star Wars Campaign Pack_ accessory for another roleplaying game.


	27. Chapter 27

Dear Enemy,

How dare you send me credits? I’m not a beggar by the side of the road, asking for charity. 

Don’t you know me by now? I would never waste my time and energy on a dress when I have more pressing needs- like _food and water._

I have shooed away your droid with money still intact. It’s nice to be rich but that doesn’t make you better than everyone else. 

Rey


	28. Chapter 28

Dear Enemy,

I’ve done it again. Damn that instantaneous transmission chip. I have spent an entire night regretting the message I wrote. If I could, I would have prevented it from arriving on your screen. 

I know you meant well, but can’t you see it from my perspective?

This connection with you has been entertaining but it isn’t real. You’re not real. You’re not my father on another planet sending me an allowance to help out in hard times. You’re not an uncle I used to visit as a child who now indulges me with occasional gifts. You’re not mine at all. I must never forget.

Because I’m alone. I, Rey, am alone. When the chips are down and my back’s against the wall, I have nothing except my own wits and a quarterstaff. There are moments when the reality of my isolation hits me and I’m left gasping for air, lonely and afraid in a way that is more painful than any injury I’ve received while scavenging, but it’s the hard truth I face every day. 

I didn’t mean to be rude and I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. I understand if you don’t want to hear from me again but I’m still here. Still willing to talk.

Your Rey


	29. Chapter 29

Dear Enemy,

I’ve made another friend, I think. He’s an odd one.

I was at Niima Outpost when I heard shouts coming from the direction of Unkar’s concession stand. Scuffles are not uncommon and I stood on tiptoes to have a look. These things can be entertaining if you’re not directly involved. 

A young man burst into the open, his skin shiny with sweat, his clothing making it clear he was new to Jakku. He had nothing to shield his head from the sun and his jacket was made of thick leather more suited to cold climates, of which we have none. Chasing him was not Unkar’s bully boys but Constable Zuvio, one of our few lawmen. Zuvio is of the Kyuzo race, green-skinned and yellow-eyed, his dense muscles making him a formidable fighter. 

A group of us paused to watch the inevitable capture of the newcomer. It was messy as Zuvio tackled him to the ground, the two of them rolling into a nearby stall. As the lawman slapped on the cuffs, the perpetrator protested volubly. It seemed he’d plucked a Jogan fruit from its vine, not realising the little cluster of plants belonged to Unkar. Yup, definitely a greenhorn.

Rose appeared beside me, clutching her hard-earned rations from the morning’s scavenging. We’d lucked out and discovered a TIE fighter half buried in a previously empty patch of ground. (I don’t question my instincts anymore. I simply insisted we go the long way to the Graveyard, though Rose gave me an odd look when we found the junker.)

“The poor guy,” she said, watching proceedings with more compassion than me.

“Serves him right,” I said uncaring. You can’t have a bleeding heart over every creature you find on Jakku.

“But he didn’t know!” Rose protested.

I could see her fingering the packs in her hand and knew she was about to waste them trying to rescue a stray. This guy did have a pathetic ‘help me’ quality about him.

“Fine,” I huffed. 

The last time a fight broke out at Unkar’s cantina, I’d been nearby and brought down a particularly aggressive and inebriated bounty hunter with a fully loaded blaster rifle. Zuvio owed me one.

Fifteen minutes later, Rose and I were in possession of one sorry looking human male. He was grateful for our help and seemed nice enough if a bit tense. He loosened up after he’d been fed and watered at the Tico’s tent.

We asked his name and he hesitated before telling us it was Finn. I wonder if he’s covering up his identity, but that’s his business, not mine. The three of us ended up hanging out and Rose invited Finn to join us on our next scavenging trip. I didn’t even groan out loud when she made the offer.

See how I’m growing as a person? Between Rose, Paige, Ben and Finn, I’ll be a socialite before this sun cycle is through.

There are rumours abounding about the state of the First Order. Reports suggest they’re no longer the well oiled military machine they used to be. Have I told you lately how glad I am to be out of that whole business? Jakku might be the backside of nowhere but at least we’re left alone by both Rebels and military juntas.

I hope you’re not directly exposed to war time action, Enemy. I’d hate to think of your home being bombed. Keep your bald, wrinkled head down, okay? 

Your Rey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know…  
> \- Zuvio was a nominated lawman in Niima. He would patrol the area, monitor starships and investigate robberies. He is first mentioned in a short story titled _High Noon on Jakku_ that was released as an e-book.  
> \- Jogan fruit is purple with white stripes and can be found across the galaxy. It is mentioned in the animated series _The Clone Wars_ and Han Solo obtained some for Leia when she was pregnant.


	30. Chapter 30

Dear Enemy,

Well, today was eventful! I keep hoping for peace and quiet, but it seems having friends inevitably leads to adventure.

Rose, Finn and I were returning with our haul after a productive day at the Graveyard when we were cornered by two Teedo scavengers riding luggabeasts. I could have used Ben and his blaster today. (On that note, I wonder what he’s up to.) Fortunately, the Teedos weren’t seasoned fighters. Finn smacked one across the jaw with a hefty bit of pipe and I managed to knock the other one out with my staff. Rose armed herself with a wrench but didn’t need to use it. I forget sometimes that there’s safety in numbers. 

Afterwards, we cleaned up our salvage together so we could show Finn what oils and solvents to use (he really has no idea) and we also visited Unkar’s stand as a group. I didn’t trust Finn to be able to trade his parts for a decent price. As it was, he received a whole ration pack less than Rose and I, but it could have been worse without my prodding.

We proceeded to have dinner together. Paige was on an early shift and made a stew using meat and vegetable scraps from the cantina’s kitchen. I think the cook has a crush on her. It must be nice being pretty and having things handed to you.

No, that’s not fair. Paige is suffering trauma from a barbaric war and deserves all the kindness she receives. Ben explained in his note that nothing happened between them but I just can’t shake the image of Paige in his ship, smiling and radiant. I’ll never be that girl- the one impressive enough to turn heads wherever she goes.

_Ech,_ what’s wrong with me? I need to get over these maudlin thoughts! 

As if to rub salt in the wound, Finn insisted on walking me back to the AT-AT (the three of us wouldn’t fit on the speeder so I left it secured at home). I tried to explain to him I wasn’t some delicate desert flower, but he wouldn’t listen. Rose didn’t seem too happy with his behaviour either. That’s the problem with relationships- they always get complicated.

You’ve been quiet, Enemy. Are you well? I hope you’re still receiving me.

Your Rey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know…  
> \- In _The Force Awakens,_ BB-8 is captured by a Teedo scavenger riding a luggabeast before being rescued by Rey.


	31. Chapter 31

Dear Enemy,

Finn and I are more alike and yet more different than I realised. I suppose this is why people become friends- so you can learn about each other.

Rose was helping Finn set up a tent to sleep in and insisted I contribute as well. I was looking forward to a day fine tuning the speeder, but when Rose gets a certain gleam in her eye not even Paige can say no to her. After an hour wrestling with tarp and wooden pegs under the baking hot sun, the tent was secured. Rose bustled about organising its interior while Finn and I stood around feeling useless since all his worldly possession could fit into a shoe. 

It happened in the blink of an eye. Rose shook Finn’s jacket to hang it up on a hook and out tumbled a gleaming white blaster rifle.

The three of us froze, staring at the weapon lying on the ratty old rug Rose had begged off another scavenger. Finn reached for the gun but I had my quarterstaff in hand and knocked it into a corner of the tent.

“Hey!” he snapped, looking affronted.

“Not ‘hey’,” I said in disbelief. “What the kriff, Finn?” 

“Finn, why do you have that?” Rose asked, looking devastated. Despite being involved in the Resistance, she hasn’t yet realised almost everyone has a devious side which is revealed given time.

He had the grace to look sheepish, but his response wasn’t what I expected. “The blaster is mine,” he said quietly. “All First Order stormtroopers who complete their training are awarded an F-11D blaster rifle. It’s standard issue.”

Rose gasped, the sound filling the warm tent. It took me a little longer to understand what he meant.

“You were a stormtrooper?” I asked at last, dumbfounded.

I was genuinely shocked. In the few days we’ve known him, Finn has proven to be kind, generous and funny; none of which were qualities I would have believed in a minion of the First Order. He also wasn’t very good at being independent. Perhaps this was why- he’s always been looked after by a large organisation.

“You’re First Order?” Rose demanded, dark eyes shiny with tears.

I held up a hand to calm the situation. Unlike Rose, I wasn’t feeling betrayed. We all have our pasts to deal with, right? I mean, look at me; I’m a garbage picker from nowhere. If I could dream of a better life, surely Finn was entitled to one too? 

“Why don’t you tell us what you’re doing in Jakku, Finn,” I suggested.

He shot me a grateful look and recited his story. It made my heart ache. 

Finn was taken from his family as a child. He doesn’t know his real name, only his badge number, which was FN-2187. One day during a mission, he spared the life of a Resistance pilot. The man asked his name and, when he heard Finn’s designation, took to calling him Finn. I understood now why Finn hesitated that first day when we asked for his name.

After that, Finn couldn’t stand being a stormtrooper anymore. He slipped away during his next mission and caught a transport to Jakku. Finn decided it was as good a place as any being so far away from the fight zone. 

“I understand if we can’t be friends,” he said at last, sounding dejected.

“What? Don’t be ridiculous,” I snapped. “It’s not where you come from but where you’re going, right Rose?” I looked at her meaningfully.

She rallied like the decent human being I knew her to be. “I’m sorry too,” she told him. “Many of my friends are on the frontline facing battalions of stormtroopers and it rattled me to think you used to be one.” 

He nodded, his usually boyish face with its easy smile suddenly sad. “Just because someone’s wearing a stormtrooper uniform doesn’t mean they had a choice in the matter.”

I shivered at the idea of being a child soldier. Unkar was mean growing up but he never expected me to kill in his name. Kylo Ren and the First Order need to be stopped. The more I hear about this war the stronger my opinions have become.

I realised neither Finn nor I were brought up in the usual way. We’re both orphans and socially awkward and want to protect ourselves from being hurt by others because we already bear so many wounds. 

As we left his tent, Finn grabbed my hand before I could follow Rose out. “Thank you for giving me a second chance, Rey,” he said, his expression heartfelt.

I felt the sudden urge to cry. “You never have to thank me for that, Finn,” I replied.

He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and I slipped away, not knowing how to react.

It was my first kiss, Enemy. How about that? I don’t think I’m going to tell Rose about it. Not yet, anyway. Having friends is a lot of work.

Good night, Enemy. Could you please send me one of your abrupt three sentence messages so I can reassure myself you’re still alive?

Your Rey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know…  
> \- Captain Phasma also wielded an F-11D blaster rifle like her stormtroopers, except hers was chromium plated.


	32. Chapter 32

Dear Enemy,

I wasn’t trying to provoke you when I called myself a ‘garbage picker’ in my last entry! I’m well aware how people view scavengers. I know you’re sorry you used those words in the past (not that you’ve apologised, I’m inferring from your reaction) and I was merely making a point.

Also, who are you to tell me who I can and cannot kiss? It wasn’t a big deal, you old fuddy duddy. It wasn’t even on the lips. My goodness, Enemy, your opinions on romance are quite antiquated. 

At the same time, I’m glad to hear you’re alive and well. Again, this is guesswork since your message contained two sentences in total. Brevity really is your specialty.

On the Jakku newsfront, Paige had a bad night and Rose was forced to work her server shift at the cantina. Finn and I attempted to scavenge enough for three people to help out the Tico sisters. It made for a long day.

Good night you grumpy old grandpa.

Your Rey

P/S Not to offend your delicate sensibilities any further, but Finn keeps trying to hold my hand. As a male of the species, dear Enemy, could you explain why he would do that?


	33. Chapter 33

Dear Enemy,

I’m sorry I haven’t written in almost a week. Ben has returned! I didn’t realise how demanding he would be on my time. 

My heart did a funny little flip when I first saw him striding through Niima Outpost. Finn was standing next to me and asked if I was about to be sick.

Ben walked up to me with a face like thunder and for a moment I wondered if I’d done something wrong. I introduced Ben to Finn but he wasn’t interested in getting to know my new companion. He asked to speak to me alone and swept me away as if he had every right.

I suggested to Ben he might want to be nicer to my friends, but he only snorted contemptuously before cracking open a bottle of Akavian mead. He plied me with delicious glasses of the stuff until I was quite tipsy. I’m not sure what would have happened if Rose hadn’t showed up to take me home. Apparently, Finn saw Ben and I drinking together (which begs the question what Finn was doing spying on us) and told Rose to rescue me. I didn’t think I needed rescuing, but I was grateful for the opportunity to regain my equilibrium.

Since then I’ve spent every day with Ben. He’s more intoxicating than fermented honey and as addictive as the spice pills sold at the shadier stalls. I suspect he might like me. Is that crazy? It’s all happening so fast I can’t think straight. 

Ben told me his mother was raised in Alderaan and his father was from Corellia. Can you imagine, Enemy, coming together from two completely different parts of the galaxy like that? She was a senator’s daughter, rich and educated and his father was a ruffian, thief and smuggler. Somehow they made it work. I find myself wondering if a wealthy trader and a poor scavenger might find a way as well. 

Finn hates Ben. He keeps muttering under his breath about overly tall smooth operators who swoop in and take things that don’t belong to them. It’s been stressful trying to pacify Finn while entertaining Ben. I’m afraid poor Finn has largely been ignored by me. Fortunately, Rose is more than willing to step in.

Ben has asked me to his ship tonight. He says he wants to have dinner and I can stay if it’s too dangerous to return home in the dark. What do I do, Enemy? I want to say yes so badly but I don’t wish to make a fool of myself. The kiss on the cheek from Finn is my sum total of romantic experiences.

Your Rey


	34. Chapter 34

Dear Enemy,

That was quick. Considering your reaction to Finn’s peck I’m a little surprised by how unconcerned you are about dinner (and possibly a sleepover) with the man in black. 

Your advice makes sense. Yes, I will relax and be myself.

Wish me luck!

Your Rey


	35. Chapter 35

Dear Diary,

This is between you, me and the spinebarrel plant in the corner. I cannot have anyone else read this, especially not a doddering old man in another galaxy who might have heart failure from its contents. This is something my Enemy will never be told.

Last night I had my first real date with a man. 

I spent good credits taking advantage of the baths attached to Unkar’s cantina, scrubbing my skin until it glowed. I also borrowed a dress from Paige. Rose watched with interest as I floundered over the three pretty outfits in her sister’s closet until Paige finally took pity on me and picked one, a blush pink slip with thin straps that left my shoulders and back exposed, the skirt not quite reaching my knees. I’ve never felt so uncovered in my whole life. I let my hair down from its usual multiple buns and applied a red balm to my lips. Anything more and I would have felt like a freak.

I scuttled over to Ben’s ship once the sun began to set and managed to avoid being seen by the usual crowd. I don’t know that anyone would let me live it down if they saw me all dolled up like that. Mashra would certainly have laughed herself into a fit.

It was worth it, though. When Ben saw me his amber eyes went wide and I knew I’d done something right. He’s impossible to rattle on a normal day. 

He wrapped his hands around my waist and lifted me up to him, his mouth finding mine without hesitation. The kiss was a revelation; warm and wet, his tongue sliding between my lips and tasting me as if I were zingbee honey, with deep, meaningful swipes. I melted against him, my legs trembling. I never thought a kiss could make my head spin.

Ben must be some kind of sorcerer because he pulled the dress off me and was laying me out on his bed roll in one smooth movement. I wanted to laugh and cry at the look on his face when first he saw me naked, like a wild man waiting to devour his kill. I never thought I could feel beautiful but he made me believe I was.

He spent a long time placing his mouth on different parts of my body; my neck and shoulders, the little hills of my breasts and their hard pink nipples, my stomach and belly button. When he spread my legs and kissed me there, I nearly levitated off the ground. His tongue was wondrous; licking, swirling and tasting. I climaxed over and over again, making sounds so abandoned I would have been embarrassed had I been in control.

He entered me in one thrust, his manhood thick and swollen, splitting me wide open. It hurt at first, like a sunburn, but then he began to move, sliding in and out, and it began to feel good. Really, really good. He spilled his seed more than once. Every time I thought we were done Ben would roll me into a different position and begin again. At some point in the night he tucked me under his chin and let me drift away to sleep.

I awoke sore and sticky, my hair like a ripper-raptor’s nest and my body covered in lavender bruises. He was already hard and I crawled down his long body to take him in my mouth. I suckled until he emptied himself in my mouth. A most unorthodox breakfast.

I should have known a night with Ben would be unforgettable. Now I have to figure out how to keep going as if I’m still an ordinary girl.

Rey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know…  
> \- Zingbee honey was added to Stim tea at Dex’s Diner on Coruscant. This was a factoid published on StarWars.com


	36. Chapter 36

Dear Enemy,

My date with Ben was a success. Thank you for your advice. 

Finn was waiting for me when I returned home to the AT-AT. I really shouldn’t have told him how to dismantle the locks. He seemed disappointed for some reason. I refused to talk about Ben and finally got rid of him an hour later.

I don’t expect all my friends to like each other, but I wish they’d stop putting pressure on me to act the way _they_ want me to. 

Rose likes hanging out with both Finn and I but would prefer it if I wasn’t alone with him. Finn is growing quite protective of me in a way that’s sweet but completely unnecessary. He doesn’t trust Ben and thinks I’m reckless spending time with him. Ben seems to want me all to himself, which is flattering but illogical. I have to work some time. Fortunately, I’ve been helping Ben trade with Unkar and he’s given me a cut of his profits. I suspect he’s passed on more than my fair share of earnings, but there’s no way to tell.

In short, having friends is complicated. 

I’m heading out to see Ben again. Maybe tonight we’ll actually have dinner. Read into that what you will, my Enemy.

Your Rey


	37. Chapter 37

Dear Enemy,

I’ve discovered something and I can’t breathe. I haven’t said anything to anyone, although Rose keeps looking at me with concerned eyes.

You won’t believe what I’m about to tell you. I’m not sure I believe it myself. It’s about Ben. 

It’s been over a week and Ben is still at Niima Outpost. I spend more nights in his flyer than I do in the Walker. He’s been accommodating and surprisingly sweet, looking after me like I’m an important guest instead of a scavenger girl he picked up off the street. He knows I’m hungry all the time and has taken to buying fruits and nuts and filling a big bowl with the stuff so I always have something to snack on.

Yesterday I was digging around a wooden chest looking for a plate when I found a roughly built metal shaft. It’s the same one Ben reached for when we were attacked by ripper-raptors. I decided to take a closer look at its exposed wires, wondering whether I could fix it for him. I slid a button on the cylindrical object and nearly cut off my hand when a long red plasma blade shot out of one end and more plasma poured out of two lateral vents. It formed a blazing red crossguard lightsaber.

My brain went into meltdown. I’m seen this weapon before. So has the entire galaxy. It’s Kylo Ren’s lightsaber. Why does Ben have Kylo Ren’s lightsaber? The only thing that makes sense is that Ben _is_ Kylo Ren, except nothing makes sense anymore. Nothing, nothing, nothing.

How can the man in black be the most hated being alive? It means Ben is the warlord who controls the First Order’s armies, the regime that slaughtered Rose’s friends and affected Paige’s mental health, the same ones that took Finn from his family and tried to turn him into a killer. He represents everything that’s wrong and twisted and monstrous. 

I don’t know what to do. Please tell me what to do. I need your advice now more than ever.

Your Rey


	38. Chapter 38

Dear Enemy,

He is gone and I am broken. 

A long time ago, I found an ancient book amongst Unkar’s shipment of goods, misplaced and in tatters. I couldn’t for the life of me understand its sentiment. I do now.

_“My only love sprung from my only hate! Too early seen unknown, and known too late,  
Prodigious birth of love it is to me, that I must love a loathed enemy.”_

My heart is shattered into pieces as small as Jakku’s ever present yellow sand. I only wish it would blow away in the wind and take my pain with it.

I awoke this morning and Ben’s ship was missing. He packed up and left in the middle of the night. No note, no goodbye. 

I feel like such a fool. He probably never liked me. I was someone entertaining to be around while he finished his business at Niima Outpost. 

Is he Kylo Ren? I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore. If he is the First Order warlord, why would he waste his time on Jakku? What was he after? Is there something precious hidden amongst Unkar’s salvage he was trying to find? 

The war is heating up. They are talking about First Order incursions in planets as close as Tatooine. I cannot imagine that behind all these violent acts stands Ben. The same Ben who kissed me and fed me and played with my hair while he told stories of growing up with two droids as nursemaids.

I wish I’d never opened myself up to him. I tried something new and it backfired. Like my parents, Ben has abandoned me. I can’t depend on anyone but myself. 

Rey


	39. Chapter 39

Dear Enemy,

Finn likes me. He told me so today. 

I’ve fallen into old habits since Ben’s departure, scavenging alone and keeping to myself. I know that’s silly but I haven’t wanted company. Finn was waiting outside the AT-AT when I returned from a morning of scouring junkers. I guess he wasn’t comfortable letting himself inside.

He looked nervous and it took him a few false starts before he was able to speak. Finn said he cares for me and knows I care for him too, though maybe not in the same way. He thinks we make a great team and wants to spend more time with me. He promised to always be there for me, to always have my back.

I didn’t know what to think or say because the whole time Finn was talking Ben loomed large in my mind. I asked Finn to give me time to consider his request.

What do I do, Enemy? Finn and Rose are probably the best friends I’ve ever had. Their continued presence is like having my own family.

Finn comes from nothing, just like me. He understands what it’s like to be alone and forgotten. Our connection is easy, while nothing I feel about Ben can be described that way. Even if Ben were not Kylo Ren, he mystifies me. There is darkness in his soul, an underlying instability I cannot identify. 

I’m done waiting for my parents to come back for me. I’m done pining for relationships I cannot have. I can’t spend the next ten sun cycles wishing and hoping for Ben to return. Finn is here and now and present. And Ben… Ben is gone.

I’ve always made the logical choice. I should be with Finn… right?

Your Rey


	40. Chapter 40

Dear Enemy,

Something has happened and I need advice. I need it from you and nobody else in the galaxy. This is not something Finn or Rose or even Mashra would understand. I cannot put my words in an open transmission. I’m afraid someone else might read it. This is a lot to ask but may I see you? You’ve become the grandfather I never thought I’d have. 

Your Rey


	41. Chapter 41

Dear Enemy,

Thank you for the secure link you sent through your floating droid. Yes, I will tell you what’s wrong but only if you promise to delete this transmission once it’s been read. My story is complicated and embarrassingly private.

Please give me your advice and don’t spare my feelings.

You won’t mind, will you, if I tell you that as much as I’ve come to appreciate your presence as a sounding board and source of support there is another man who’s become even more important to me? You can probably guess who it is. My entries have been very full of Ben for a while now.

I wish I could make you understand what he’s like. He’s the most overwhelming person I’ve ever met, as sharp as a well honed blade with a mind as brilliant as faceted crystal. He is charming and witty and funny, though you wouldn’t think so at first glance. He rarely smiles but he’ll say something in his dry, dark tone that leaves me in fits of giggles. He’s also an overgrown little boy who needs reassurance and care and love. I want to brush his hair and make sure he’s had enough to eat and tuck him into bed because I suspect he doesn’t look after himself very well. I love him in a way I did not think possible- utterly and completely. 

I grew up aware of Jakku’s harsh climate and brutal sandstorms but with Ben gone I feel like my existence has become even harder. I’m sad and aching all the time. Have you been in love before? If you have, you’ll know what I mean. 

Anyway- that’s how I feel. And yet I’ve refused his hand.

Ben flew into Jakku under the cover of darkness and came to find me. He told me everything. He is Kylo Ren but he decided he doesn’t want to be the dark lord anymore. He’s been trying to undermine the First Order by leaking crucial information to the Resistance. Once the First Order is rendered powerless, he will be free to walk away from it all. And then he held out his hand and asked me to go with him.

I said no but didn’t tell him why. I couldn’t really speak. And now Ben has gone away thinking I want to be with Finn. I don’t want to be with Finn, not even a little bit. He’s a wonderful human being but I don’t feel for him that way. This is a miserable misunderstanding and I know I’ve hurt Ben.

The truth is I refused him not because I don’t love him but because I love him too much. Ben is everything to me and I’m afraid one day he’ll regret his decision. He is worldly and powerful and wealthy and I am insular and small and poor. He doesn’t understand how inadequate I feel all the time. If I wasn’t good enough for my own parents, why would I be good enough for him?

I know he’s made some horrific choices in this war, but I can see how hard he’s attempting to correct his course. My concern isn’t about his past, it’s about our future. When we end up living a quiet life in some fishing village, will I be enough for Ben?

Perhaps when two people are able to find each other in this chaotic galaxy they shouldn’t let anything stand between them. I want to believe that, but I fear I’m being naïve.

Please tell me what to do, Enemy. My heart is broken and I have no one else to turn to.

Your Rey


	42. Chapter 42

Dear Enemy,

The war is over! Rumours are flying around. They say Kylo Ren turned on his master. I’m so very proud of Ben. Despite the pain I’ve endured, I’m glad I knew him.

I’m still waiting for your reply, Enemy. I hope you’re not disappointed in what I had to say. 

Your Rey


	43. Chapter 43

Dear Enemy,

Of course, I can come see you! It hardly seems real that you’re a flesh-and-blood being. I’ll wait for your automated space pod to pick me up. 

Thank you for doing this for me. 

Your Rey

P/S I hope you’re waiting for me when I land. I’ve just realised I don’t know what species you are or what planet you’re from or even your real name! Perhaps you should tell me before I arrive?


	44. Chapter 44

My dearest-sweetest-handsomest-Enemy-Ben, 

I had to call you that one last time, Ben. My Ben. I still can’t believe this is happening!

Yesterday I stepped into a sleek silver pod so nervous my heart was fluttering inside my chest. I knew- I was so certain- that my Enemy would solve all my problems. And you see? You have!

I’ve never been to Alderaan before- well, I’ve never been anywhere really, though I have a feeling all that is about to change. Your mother’s home is breathtaking. Its pearlescent shell blends with its surroundings, tucked away amongst snow-capped mountains. I am going to need the interior heated on high once I move in. 

I feel sorry for your golden protocol droid C-3PO who met me on the landing pad because I didn’t listen to a word he said. After years of gritty yellow sand, the crisp fresh air of the mountains made me want to weep. Threepio showed me into a house with high ceilings and clear glass walls facing an incredible view and I was stunned. I’ve never seen such beauty. 

And then he led me to a study where he said the master was waiting. (I can tell, by the way, how much your droid cares for you. I know most people will say it’s built into his circuits but there’s genuine affection.) For a moment I stood dazzled by sunshine pouring in through great glass windows. All I could see was a tall shadow of a man. And then you walked towards me and I realised it was you. Ben.

I was so confused at first. I thought my Enemy had brought you to his home so we could reconcile, and then you held open your arms and said, “It was me all along, sweetheart.” 

I ran into your embrace and cried harder than I ever have in my whole life. I was so happy and stunned and relieved and incredulous that I could barely process my emotions. I’ve been so blind! I look back at our correspondence and realise now you were reacting to my messages all along. I’d be a terrible detective, wouldn’t I? 

I’m a little unnerved by the fact you so easily managed to collect a blood sample from me the first time we met. You and ripper-raptors make for an effective combination. I think you’re adorable to be so excited about all the midi-chlorians in my blood, but do you think it would be okay if I wasn’t Jedi and instead just a girl? I know you do; you’ve already said so. 

You outdid yourself after that. We nearly destroyed your bed with its real silk sheets. I still feel bad about it. You’ve asked me to think of the place as my own too, but that’s going to take a while.

Thank you for understanding why I needed to return to Jakku. I had to say goodbye to Rose, Paige and Finn. I’ve given them your secure link so we can all stay in touch. 

After today I’ll never have to come home to an empty Imperial Walker. I’d like to say something sentimental like I’ll miss this place, but I won’t. I’m going to bring a spinebarrel plant back to Alderaan with me. After all, this desert flower showed me I can belong anywhere. 

I love you, Ben. I feel like shouting the words to the night sky. I love you so much. You’re enough just as you are, and when I’m with you, that’s how I feel too. Enough. I can see the war has affected you, turned you dark and brooding in places, but I can handle your mood swings if you can deal with my fear of abandonment. We can love each other better. I can’t wait for the rest of our lives to begin.

I sign off one last time with someone else’s words because mine are inadequate for how I feel. Remember that book I found all those years ago? 

_“My bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love as deep;  
The more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite.”_

Your Rey (forever and ever)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know…  
> \- Alderaan is a core world covered in mountains. Leia Organa was princess of Alderaan and one of its few remaining survivors after Grand Moff Tarkin tested the Death Star on it.

**Author's Note:**

> I enjoyed writing _The Sun, The Moon & All The Stars_ in letter form so much that I wanted to try it again. It’s an interesting way to narrate because you don’t have chapters with word counts, instead it’s about what feels natural. It’s much more of a conversation, which is fun. 
> 
> All credit goes to Jean Webster’s _Daddy-Long-Legs_ and _Dear Enemy_ as inspiration, two YA novels in letter format written over a 100 years ago. This story is an homage to _Daddy-Long-Legs_ and the title of this fic is a direct homage to the sequel.
> 
> The eventual inclusion of Shakespearean quotes from _Romeo and Juliet_ surprised even me! No one does it like the bard, though it took Baz Luhrmann’s film version for me to truly appreciate the play. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed putting it together. Xoxo.


End file.
